If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
