Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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