she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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