There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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