I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
