Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
