Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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