it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
