This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
