Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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