I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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