PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I AM VODKA MAN
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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