I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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