no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize