she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
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And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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