I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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