Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize