i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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