Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
