I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
