I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize