During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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