Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
