True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize