Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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