kristin has been a bad kristin
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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