i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
