sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
