Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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