Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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