Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize