Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
