she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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