So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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