Walk of Shame. In a state park.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
