I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
