we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
