Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
