Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
