is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
