You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
