You smell like stripper and shame
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
