he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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