omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i believe in u and ur pee
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
