is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
