Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
