woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
