happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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