ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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