My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
