The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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