Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
