Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Less talking, more tequila
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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