shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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