Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
