I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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