96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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