hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Randomize
