He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
