Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
