you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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