This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
