So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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