did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize