I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
