It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
