so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
