Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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